I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
