fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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