I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
