erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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