We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
