it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
