omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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