I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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