So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
