she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
