So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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