This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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