Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
