I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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