the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
third nipple confirmed
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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