You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
