I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name