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• (212): View more from New York

  ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....

  (512): View more from Texas

  oh shit that had to have been awkward

  (210): View more from Texas

  i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night

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• (714): View more from California

  I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?

  (949): View more from California

  I gave it to your brother to give to you.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  "Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.

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