you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?