am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
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white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
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Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."