I hate your face
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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