my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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