Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
In other news, I just burned my penis
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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