is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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