tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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