i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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