do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
