yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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