some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
