He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
