Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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