She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
