Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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