I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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