Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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