you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
