I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
