i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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