all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
