I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
from now on my penis is your penis
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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