There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
