Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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