wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
