I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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