This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i think i have two assholes
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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