Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
