You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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