He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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