I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.