bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.