I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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