Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
