We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs