Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.

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(207): View more from Maine

in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask

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(330): View more from Ohio

you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"

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(954): View more from Florida

like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(708): View more from Illinois

sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.

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