You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
