your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I still have a little drunk in my system
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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