All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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