yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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