Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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