Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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