All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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