I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
