He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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