she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
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Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
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What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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