Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
