You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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