dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
They took my balls.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
