I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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