He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
