Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
